Hindu wedding

Wedding ceremony in Hinduism

A Hindu wedding, also known as Vivaha (Devanagari: विवाह; Vivaaha) , Marathi: Lagna (लग्न), Bengali: Bibaho (বিবাহ), Kalyanam (Devanagari: कल्याणम्; Telugu: కళ్యాణం), Kannada script: ಮದುವೆ (Maduve), (Tirumanam), or Pelli , is the traditional wedding ceremony for Hindus. The wedding ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days and usually a large number of people attend the wedding functions. The bride's and groom's home—entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof—are sometimes decorated with colors, flowers, and other decorations. The word vivāha originated as a sacred union of two people as per Vedic traditions, i. e. what many call marriage, but based on cosmic laws and advanced ancient practices. Under Vedic Hindu traditions, marriage is viewed as one of the saṁskāras performed during the life of a human being, which are lifelong commitments of one wife and one husband. Hindu families have traditionally been patrilocal. The Arya Samaj movement popularized the term Vedic wedding among the Hindu expatriates in north during the colonial era, it was however prevalent in south India even before. The roots of this tradition are found in hymn 10.85 of the Rigveda Shakala samhita, which is also called the "Rigvedic wedding hymn". The rituals and processes of a Hindu wedding vary widely, by region and community. Nevertheless, the Hindu wedding ceremony at its core is essentially a Vedic yajna ritual and three key rituals are almost universal: Kanyadana— giving away of his daughter by the father, Panigrahana— voluntarily holding hands near the fire to signify union, and Saptapadi— taking seven 'steps before fire'. (Each 'step' is a complete circuit of the fire.) At each step, promises are made by (in the long form—see below) each to the other. The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, in the presence of family and friends. The ceremony is traditionally conducted entirely or at least partially in Sanskrit, considered by Hindus as the language of holy ceremonies. The local language of the bride and groom may also be used. The rituals are prescribed in the Gruhya sutra composed by various rishis such as Apastamba, Baudhayana and Ashvalayana. The pre wedding and post wedding rituals and celebrations vary by region, preference and the resources of the groom, bride and their families. They can range from one day to multi day events. Pre wedding ceremonies include engagement, which involves vagdana (betrothal) and Lagna patra (written declaration), and Varyatra— the arrival of the groom's party at the bride's residence, often as a formal procession with dancing and music. The post wedding ceremonies may include Abhisheka, Anna Prashashana, Aashirvadah, and Grihapravesa – the welcoming of the bride to her new home. The wedding marks the start of the Grhastha (householder) stage of life for the new couple. In India, by law and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding or complete unless the ritual of seven steps and vows in presence of fire (Saptapadi) is completed by the bride and the groom together. Two are yajna. Fire is the divine witness (to the marriage),

Who offered this maiden? to whom is she offered? Kama (the god of love) gave her to me, that I may love her
Love is the giver, love is the acceptor
Enter thou, the bride, the ocean of love

With love then, I receive thee
May she remain thine, thine own, O God of love
Verily, thou art, prosperity itself
May the heaven bestow thee, may the earth receive thee

After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the bride in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. This repeated promise by the groom marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in the Hindu wedding.

This step is a part of Kanya Varanam, where the groom to be (brahmachari) sends two elders on his behalf to the father of a girl whom he wishes to marry. The elders convey the message of the brahmachari and ask for the daughter's hand. The two mantras in the form of brahmachari's appeal to intercede on his behalf come from Rg 10.32.1 ("pra sugmantha ") and 10.85.23. The first mantra begs the elders to proceed and return quickly with success back from their mission on his behalf. The second mantram ("anruksharaa Rjava: ") asks for the gods' blessings for the elders' safe journey to the house of the father of the would be bride. The mantra prays to Aryama and Bhaga for a marriage full of harmony. The father accedes to the request of the elders and the resulting agreement for betrothal (formal engagement to be married; engagement. )is known as vaak daanam.

In this ritual, the bridegroom and the bride look at each other formally for the first time. The bridegroom worries about any doshas (defects) that the bride might have and prays to the gods Varuna, Brihaspati, Indra and Surya to remove every defect and to make her fit for harmonious and long marriage life blessed with progeny and happiness (mantra: Rg 10.85.44). The bride groom recites the mantra and wipes the eyebrows of the bride with a blade of darbha grass, to symbolize the removal of defects. The darbha grass is thrown behind the bride at the conclusion of this ceremony. The Bridegroom shall stand facing the east. The Bride shall stand facing the north. The bride (offering the seat or Asana), shall address the bridegroom as follows:

The bride: AUM, The noble one may accept and take the seat. The bridegroom: AUM, I am taking my seat. (ॐ प्रातिग्रहनामी)

The bride shall take her seat to the right of the bridegroom. The bridegroom performs the Achamana and Angasparsha with water. All Hindu religious ceremonies begin with two observances, namely Achaman or sipping a small quantity of water and angasparsha or touching one's limbs with one's right hand middle two fingers with a little water. Achaman is purificatory and conducive to peaceful attitude of mind. Angasparsha is intended to pray for physical strength and alertness. Achaman and Angasparsha are performed with the aid of Mantras.

This ritual originates from South India and places the groom and bride welcoming their respective families together to witness the exchange of testimonies accompanied with a simultaneous exchange of rings' or necklaces'. The groom and bride then sit next to each other making prayers to seek the blessings of Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva for eternal happiness for themselves and their families.

Five Veda mantras are recited to sanctify the bride in preparation for the subsequent stages of the marriage. This aspect of the marriage is known as mangalasnanam. The sun god (Surya), water god (Varuna), and other gods are invoked to purify the bride in preparation for a harmonious married life. Next, the bride wears the marriage clothes to the accompaniment of additional Veda mantras. The bridegroom then ties a darbha rope around the waist of the bride and leads her to the place, where the sacred fire is located for conducting the rest of the marriage ceremony. The bride and the groom sit on a new mat in front of the fire. The groom recites three mantras which invoke Soma, Gandharva and Agni to confer strength, beauty, and youth on the bride.

After sapta padi, the couple take their seat on the western side of the sacred fire and conduct pradhaana homam. During the conductance of this homam, the bride must place her right hand on her husband's body so that she gets the full benefit of the homam through symbolic participation. Sixteen mantras are recited to the accompaniment of pouring a spoon of clarified butter into the sacred fire at the end of recitation of each of the mantras. These mantras salute Soma, Gandharva, Agni, Indra, Vayu, the Aswini Devas, Savita, Brihaspati, Viswa Devas and Varuna for blessing the marriage and beseeches them to confer long wedded life, health, wealth, children and freedom from all kinds of worries. One prayer—the sixth mantra—has a sense of humor and provides deep insight into human psychology. The text of this mantra is: "daSaasyam putraan dehi, patim ekaadaSam kRti". Here, the groom asks Indra to bless the couple with ten children and requests that he be blessed to become the eleventh child of his bride in his old age.

After pradhaana homam, the husband holds the right toe of his wife and lifts her leg and places it on a flat granite grinding stone known as "ammi" in Tamil. The ammi stands at the right side of the sacred fire. The husband recites a Veda mantra when he places the right foot of his wife on the ammi:
May you stand on this firm stone. May you be rock firm during your stay on this grinding stone. May you stand up to those who oppose you while you carry out your time honored responsibilities as a wife sanctioned by the Vedas and tradition. May you develop tolerance to your enemies and put up a fair fight to defend your legitimate rights as the head of the household in a firm manner, equal to the steady strength of this grinding stone. Some traditions mention to wear two silver ring on the either toes of bride by the bridegroom at this time.

After ammi stepping, a ceremony of doing homam with parched rice (laja) is conducted. Here, the wife cups her hands and the brothers of the bride fill the cupped hands with parched rice. The husband adds a drop of ghee to the parched rice and recites five Veda mantras. At the end of each of the recitation, the parched rice is thrown into the sacred fire as haves (offering) to Agni. Through these mantras, the wife prays for long life for her husband and for a marriage filled with peace and harmony. At the end of the laaja homam, the husband unties the darbha belt around the waist of his wife with another mantra. The husband states through this mantra that he unites his wife and ties her now with the bonds of Varuna and invites her to be a full partner in his life to enjoy the blessings of wedded life.

This ceremony relates to the journey of the wife to her husband's home. The husband carries the sacred fire (home agni) in an earthenware vessel during this journey home. There are many Veda mantras associated with this journey. These mantras pray to the appropriate Vedic gods to remove all obstacles that one can experience in a journey. The bride is requested to become the mistress of the house and is reminded of her important role among the relatives of her husband. After reaching her new home, she puts her right foot first in the house and recites the following Veda mantra: I enter this house with a happy heart. May I give birth to children, who observe the path of righteousness (dharma)! May this house that I enter today be prosperous forever and never be deficient in food. May this house be populated by people of virtue and pious thoughts.

It is the samskara which is done before the couple enter to their bedroom. Nishekam means first conjugal bliss by the couple. In South India they do Nishekam on a suitable date according to jyotisha. Whereas in North India and East India they do it on the fourth day from the marriage. Paraskara Grihya Sutram of Shukla Yajurveda mentions to conduct it on the fourth night in the prescribed room of the couple. It's otherwise called Chaturthi Karma.

According to V. Sadagopan, the rituals are as follows.

The bridegroom taking the palm of the bride into his hand helps her to rise and then they both shall walk round the altar, the bride leading. Then facing the east take the solemn vows:

This ceremony is referred to as Ashmarohanam or Shilarohanam (Ashma or Shila: stone ; Arohan: stepping upon). In it, the mother of the bride assists her to step onto a stone and counsels her to prepare herself for a new life. The stone signifies strength and trust. A married couple is likely to encounter ups and downs, joys and sorrows, prosperity and adversity, sickness and health. In spite of the difficulties facing them, they are enjoined to remain steadfast and true to each other. The bride places her right foot on the slab (stone), assisted by her mother or her brother. The priest recites a Mantra from the Atharva Veda (AV II.13.4)

This is an auspicious and important part of the marriage ceremony. It consists in walking around the sacred fire (clockwise) three or four (less often five, but sometimes seven) times. This aspect of the ceremony and the one that follows, namely Saptapadi (seven steps) constitute the most important part, in as much as it legalises the marriage according to Hindu custom and tradition. These two aspects of the marriage ceremony establish an indissoluble matrimonial bond between the couple. In many communities, the saptapadi and agniparinayana have been merged into one ritual; and hence they circumambulate the fire seven times (saat phere). In the first three rounds the bride leads the Groom as they circle together around the sacred fire. From the fourth round, the Groom leads the bride around the sacred fire. In each round around the sacred fire, an appropriate mantra is recited which expresses noble sentiments in relation to their future matrimonial life. Each round culminates in both the bride and the bridegroom placing offerings or ahutis of fried rice in the sacred fire. The Hindu religion emphasises enjoyment of life as well as the discharging of family, social and national responsibilities. During the first three rounds, God's blessings and help are sought, loyalty to each other is emphasised and a promise to keep in mind the well being and care of the future children is made. In the last four rounds (led by the Groom) they promise that they will lead their life according to the tenets of the Hindu religion, namely Satya and Dharma or Truth and devotion to duty; that they will always ensure that the bridegroom can rely on her to carry out her family, religious and household duties; that they will always support each other in all their endeavours; and that they forever belong to each other and will remain friends forever. The bridegroom then places his hand on the bride's head and states that henceforth she will be his wife and he will shield her against any danger or harm. At the end of the four rounds they shall exchange seats, the bride accepting her seat to the left of the bridegroom (vaamaang).

The priest (or a brother of the newly wedded wife) shall sprinkle water on the foreheads of the bride and the groom. The priest recites mantras from the Rig Veda (RV X.9.1/2/3) during the sprinkling of water.

In the last symbolic rite the couple make offerings of food with chantings of Vedic Havan Mantras (oblations of food in the Sacred fire). Having done that, the couple feed a morsel of food to each other from the residue of the offerings. This being the symbolic expression of mutual love and affection.

Many Hindu weddings start with the milne (meeting) and swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks. Many other rituals and ceremonies are sometimes found in Hindu weddings, such as madhuparka, vivaah homa, agni parinayana, asmarohana, laja homa, abhishek, anna prashashan, and aashir vadah. After saptapadi, as hymns are being recited, the groom performs māņg sindoor ritual where a saffron or red color powder is marked into the parting of the wife's hair. Instead of circling the fire and other steps, the rituals and ceremonies may be performed symbolically, such as stepping on small heaps of rice or throwing grains into the fire. Some rituals involve suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. Some scholars have proposed the observance of this rite in the past – known as chaturthikarma – "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage". Chaturthikarma is followed by most of South Indian communities as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities. In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after grihapravesa.

It comprises a ceremony for the Tilak (engagement), the Ban (starting of the wedding ceremony), the Mel (the community feast), the Nikasi (the departure of the Bridegroom party for the wedding), the Sehla, and the Dhukav (reception of the wedding party at the bride's place by her parents). Solemnisation of the wedding is referred to as Fera. A sherwani also known as Achkan is normally worn by the bridegroom along with his own family form of a turban. He keeps a sword in his left hand during the ceremony. A bride wears a Lahanga, Odhani, Kurti or Poshak. The ornaments worn by a Rajput Bride are the Rakhdi on her forehead, the Sheesphul as headgear, the aad as a thick neck hanging, the Baju above her elbow (on arms), the "poonchis" and "bangdis" as thick golden bangles in arms, "hathfools" on hands and the Pajeb as anklets. The wedding dress and the "aad" is gifted by the groom's side to the bride. The barat at the time of "samela" presents them in the "padla" ( a collection of many lahanga, jewelry items, accessories, make up kits, shoes etc.) for the bride.

Many types of rituals are celebrated in Bengali Hindu wedding. These include Patipatra, Pankhil, Ashirvad, Aiburo Bhat, Dadhi Mangal, Gaye Halud, Shankha Kangkan, Ganga Baran, Jalsoi, Bar Baran, Satpak, Shubhadrishti, Mala Badal, Kanya Sampradan, Anjali, Sindoor Daan, Basi Biye, Basar Jagaran, Kanakanjali, Badhu Baran, Kalratri, Bhat Kapor, Bou Bhat, Phulshajya etc.

In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home. The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue. and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market.

In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the saptapadi ritual, in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required as the saptapadi is not performed.

A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of a happy and fulfilling married life is the presence of unity, intimacy and love between a husband and wife physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence the wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of the husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self indulgence, but is considered to be a life long social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soulmates.