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Parody of J. R. R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings by the Harvard Lampoon
the 1969 parody novel of The Lord of the Rings

Bored of the Rings is a 1969 parody of J. R. R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings. This short novel was written by Henry Beard and Douglas Kenney, who later founded National Lampoon. It was published in 1969 by Signet for The Harvard Lampoon, and, unusually for a parody, has remained in print for over 50 years. It has been translated into at least twelve languages. The parody steps through The Lord of the Rings, in turn mocking the prologue, the map, and the main text. The text combines slapstick humor with deliberately inappropriate use of brand names.

The parody closely follows the outline of The Lord of the Rings, lampooning the prologue and map of Middle earth; its main text is a short satirical summary of Tolkien's plot. The witty text combines slapstick humour and deliberately inappropriate use of brand names. For example, the carbonated beverages Moxie and Pepsi replace Merry and Pippin. Tom Bombadil appears as "Tim Benzedrine", a stereotypical hippie married to "Hashberry". Her name alludes to Haight Ashbury, a district of San Francisco nicknamed Hashbury for its hippie counterculture at that time. Saruman is satirised as Serutan, a laxative, who lives in a "mighty fortress" with "pastel pink and blue walls" and a "pale lavender moat crossed by a bright green drawbridge", giving access to an amusement park for tourists. Other characters include the boggies (Hobbits) Dildo Bugger of Bug End and Frito Bugger (Bilbo and Frodo Baggins), Goddam (Gollum), and Arrowroot, son of Arrowshirt (Aragorn, son of Arathorn).

The main text broadly follows the plot of The Lord of the Rings, its ten chapters roughly corresponding to key chapters of Tolkien's novel. The parody starts with "It's My Party and I'll Snub Who I Want To", mocking the opening of I:1 "A Long expected Party" and Bilbo's leaving party. The Boggies are excited at the prospect of free food, especially the drooling and senile Haf Gangree, who has retired on the takings from his thriving blackmail business. "Three's Company, Four's a Bore" parodies I:3 "Three is Company". Goodgulf (Gandalf) translates the writing on the Ring, beginning "'This Ring, no other, is made by the elves, / Who'd pawn their own mother to grab it themselves.' 'Shakestoor, it isn't, said Frito'". "Indigestion at the Sign of the Goode Eats" derides I:9 "At the Sign of the Prancing Pony" in the village of Whee in Wheeland, "a small and swampy region populated mostly by star nosed moles". "Finders Keepers, Finders Weepers" is a parody of II:1 "Many Meetings" and II:2 "The Council of Elrond". Orlon (Elrond) and the Lady Lycra sit at the head of the table in dazzling whiteness: "Dead they looked, and yet it was not so". An ancient lament of the Auld Elves runs "A Unicef clearasil / Gibberish 'n' drivel Sing hey nonny nembutal", mocking the Sindarin hymn A Elbereth Gilthoniel. "Some Monsters" echoes II:3 "A Journey in the Dark" and II:5 "The Bridge of Khazad Dum". In a parody of the Fellowship's encounter with the Watcher in the Water, the chapter includes: "'Aiyee!' shouted Legolam (Legolas). 'A Thesaurus!' 'Maim!' roared the monster. 'Mutilate, mangle, crush. See HARM.'" They enter the dread Andrea Doria (Moria), and fight the ballhog (Balrog). "'Dulce et decorum', said Bromosel (Boromir), hacking at the bridge." Goodgulf dies. The chapter continues with a parody of II:6 "Lothlórien". They meet Lord Cellophane and Lady Lavalier (Celeborn and Galadriel). "'You have much to fear', said Cellophane. 'You leave at dawn', said Lavalier." The travellers are given magic cloaks "that blended in with any background, either green grass, green trees, green rocks, or green sky". Spam (Sam Gamgee) gets a gift of insect repellent. "The Riders of Roi Tan" parodies III:2 "The Riders of Rohan". "Vere ist you going und vat are you doing here" asks the leading Rider from the back of her bull merino sheep. The text continues, mocking III:3 "The Uruk Hai"; "'Okay, okay', sobbed Pepsi. 'Untie me and I'll draw you a map.' Goulash (Grishnakh) agreed to this in his greedy haste " Pepsi and Moxie escape into the forest, for III:4 "Treebeard", where they meet the terrifying Birdseye, Lord of the Vee Ates, the jolly green giant, who makes puns about vegetables (lettuce go ). Meanwhile, echoing III:5 "The White Rider", Arrowroot, Legolam, and Gimlet (Gimli) meet the reborn Goodgulf who is wearing new clothes from a boutique in Lornadoon (Lothlórien). "Serutan Spelled Backwards is Mud" parodies chapters including III:7 "Helm's Deep" and III:10 "The Voice of Saruman". The travellers "stare with apprehension at the motionless wheels and tarpaulined exhibits" of the fairground of Serutanland. Birdseye and his vegetables arrive and bombard Serutan's fortress with giant suicide scallions and kamikaze kumquats. "The ramparts were littered with chopped parsley, diced onion, and grated carrots." "Schlob's Lair and Other Mountain Resorts" mocks much of Book IV as Frito and Spam meet Goddam, cross the "mucky pools" of the Ngaio Marsh (the Dead Marshes), pass the black chimneys of Chikken Noodul (Minas Morgul), "the dread company town that stood across from Minas Troney", and climb the Sol Hurok, the great cliffs of Fordor (Mordor). They enter Schlob's (Shelob the giant spider's) lair. Frito slashes at Schlob's "sharp red fingernails" with his sword Tweezer, "only managing to chip the enamel". "As the ravenous creature closed in, Frito's last memory was of Spam frantically schpritzing insect repellent into Schlob's bottomless gullet". "Minas Troney in the Soup" parodies V:4 "The Siege of Gondor" and V:6 "The Battle of the Pelennor Fields". The boggies are dressed in armour; Goodgulf "wore only an old deep sea diver's suit of stoutest latex. In his hand he carried an ancient and trusty weapon, called by the elves a Browning semi automatic". "Be it Ever so Horrid" briefly mocks Frodo's homecoming, ignoring the tales of VI:8 "The Scouring of the Shire" and VI:9 "The Grey Havens": "he walked directly to his cozy fire and slumped in the chair. He began to muse upon the years of delicious boredom that lay ahead. Perhaps he would take up Scrabble".

The Signet first edition cover, a parody of the 1965 Ballantine paperback covers by Barbara Remington, was drawn by Muppets designer Michael K. Frith. Current editions have different artwork by Douglas Carrel, since the paperback cover art for Lord of the Rings prevalent in the 1960s, then famous, is now obscure. William S. Donnell drew the "parody map" of Lower Middle Earth.

Delta 4's Bored of the Rings is a 1985 text adventure game inspired by the book, but it was not directly based on it. In 2013, an audio version was produced by Orion Audiobooks, narrated by Rupert Degas.

The book is featured in the film A Futile and Stupid Gesture, which follows the times of its authors at The Harvard Lampoon and National Lampoon.